Thursday, 28 March 2013

Bathtime?… No!

Today a lovely friend of Emma’s sent us pictures of kittens in sinks. That reminded me I was gonna tell you what I think about baths. I’d hate to be in a sink! Even more I’d hate to be in a bath! It’s not that I mind being clean really though if I am clean I don’t smell like a dog like I am supposed to and like Emma loves. Oh she is wriggling her nose now and saying that she doesn’t mind me smelling clean with a bit of doggy smell too, but it’s not about the smell but about how I look and sometimes I’m growing dreadlocks – which aren’t locks that you dread – but hair all stuck together. But she once grew dreadlocks and people said she looked very interesting with them. She said with mine I look funny. When I was taken to the doggy beautician she took all my hair off and I didn’t look like me at all and Emma asked me who I was when I came to greet her when she next came home. I didn’t look funny or interesting but bald. I don’t like water, except to drink as I’ve already told you. When it’s on me it makes me cold and wet and shivery and scared. Emma says it doesn’t hurt but it does. She doesn’t like me bald though – she likes me as ‘Mr. Scruffy-Puff’ - and she also knows I find it traumatic being beautified by the doggy beautician so she now does it. She will only do it when it’s warm enough outside so I don’t have to be in a bath but I can have a shower instead with not much water and she can do it carefully and I don’t have to be in it too long so I don’t get scared, but it has been cold outside for a very long time and so I am looking the scruffiest puff that there ever was! And cos humans have put too many of the wrong gases into the sky – yes that muddled thinking they have again – or this time they did it without thinking or knowing what would happen if they did that - it’s gonna be cold for a long time even after the time when it becomes British summer-time. Now they understand it but too late and the jet stream – which isn’t a stream of jets but air currents – is in the wrong place on the world and so not bringing the right air or wind to us. So Emma is gonna have to wait to make me less of a scruff and less of a puff unless she does it without me getting clean at the same time, which would be possible if she just cuts my dreaded locks off. At least I hope she does wait or I’m likely to look like this…

Love and licks, Ted and Emma XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

To read more stories like this one please visit my blog or you can get my book The Journal of Ted Terrier from any amazon website

The Blog of Ted Terrier © 2013 by Emma Knight

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Life According to Charlie...

Life According to Charlie

I totally agree!

Love and Licks Ted XOXOX

Adverts – necessary or nuisance?

You are happily sitting on your sofa, or in your armchair, or even in bed – and if like me when I’m doing what I’m about to write about, you have a loved one next to you, who if they’re human may be laughing, crying or gasping, or even trying to hide behind the sofa or chair… and then suddenly, often with no warning at all, they stop doing those things and instead it’s a ‘tut’ or ‘I hate this’ cos they are annoyed… and what has happened is the TV show or film we were watching has suddenly stopped and the adverts have come on. And then if it’s my human mum, Jane, she says ‘Why do there have to be so many adverts?’ And it does interrupt the flow of drama and enjoyment of the programme, and then you don’t know when it will come back, and as Emma says, if you have time to get tea and do anything else you may need to do.
And I am writing this to go with yet another advert about me and my book! But the good thing about this is that it won’t interrupt your enjoyment of anything cos I am giving you a story along with it so this ‘show’ does not stop, and also it’s not stopping any other show you may be enjoying cos you have chosen to look at it.
I do agree that adverts can be a nuisance and I certainly don’t want to annoy anyone by giving you lots of nuisances or being a nuisance – though my human father, Peter, says I often am a nuisance but he seems to find it funny so I am obviously an entertaining nuisance – but adverts are good to tell you about things you may need or want, and some of them are entertaining and nice to look at as well, like I hope you think my adverts are. And if you are trying to tell people about something nice you have to offer them, you often have to repeat telling them about it cos you don’t know when they will be there to see it, so you have to do it many times and in different ways so those who do keep seeing it don’t get bored, and that they see your thing amidst all the other things people are trying to tell you about.
So maybe I am a necessary, naughty nuisance but I am very nice… as is my book and blog, which are what we are advertising J
Love and licks, Ted and Emma XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

To read more stories like this one please visit my blog or you can get my book The Journal of Ted Terrier from any amazon website

The Blog of Ted Terrier © 2013 by Emma Knight

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Our lovely illustrator Sue Mynall

Emma and I are neither very good at drawing so the absolutely lovely Sue Mynall has visited us and drawn me doing all the things I tell you about. She has also illustrated some other fabulous things and is a fabulous human being, whom we love very much! And she also has a canine member of her family as all the best humans do...
Have a look at her website:
(Picture copyright Sue Mynall)

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

It’s raining… in the car!

The other morning  - in other words one that wasn’t this one – I went for a walk with Emma – she would say she was taking me for a walk, but really I take her - and we went to her car, which is called a Renault Clio. The reason we went to her car was to put a ‘dehumidifier’ in it cos it had been raining inside the car cos the sunroof has been leaking, and the water that was inside the car had got into the instrument panel, and so it had gone off, and so Emma said they had been driving blind cos she couldn’t see what speed they were going or what temperature the engine was or other things that I can’t remember, and even if I did remember I wouldn’t understand. Emma says you’ll all know what a dehumidifier is but for anyone, like me, who doesn’t, it takes water out from wherever it is; wherever the water is and wherever the dehumidifier is. And the reason Emma said they was cos she calls ‘the Clio’ she as though she thinks it’s alive, which it isn’t, but many humans do that with machines, especially female humans. She thanks it for getting her places! Yes, I know! And she has been worried about driving it blind and so has used a ‘satnav’ to tell her what speed they are going rather than where they are going. Now she’s got me saying they!
We got to ‘the Clio’ and Emma opened the driver’s side door and I immediately leapt in and sat on the driver’s seat. I grabbed the handle of my lead in my mouth, which is what I do when I am taking myself for a walk, and I faced the wheel… and, cos Emma is worried but I’m not, see what I did next…

Love and licks, Ted and Emma XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

To read more stories like this one please visit my blog or you can get my book The Journal of Ted Terrier from any amazon website

The Blog of Ted Terrier © 2013 by Emma Knight

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Friday, 1 March 2013